Making Sense of Anxiety, Burnout & Emotional Distress
Many people arrive at therapy wondering why they feel the way they do - anxious, low, burnt out, or disconnected - especially when life might look fine on the outside. You may find yourself asking whether this is 'normal', whether something is wrong with you, or why things feel so hard despite your efforts to cope.
This page offers a way of understanding emotional distress that moves away from blame or diagnosis, and towards meaning, context, and compassion.
Mental health as part of the human experience
Emotional distress does not arise in isolation; it develops within the context of our lives. Just as our physical health fluctuates over time, so does our mental and emotional wellbeing. How we think, feel, and cope is shaped by what we’ve been living through - including stress, loss, responsibility, relationships, demands and expectations, and the ways we’ve learned to adapt in order to belong, feel safe, or be accepted.
Seen this way, emotional distress, anxiety, low mood, or burnout are not signs that something is 'wrong' with you, but part of how we respond and adapt to life experiences and long-term pressures. This perspective helps shift the focus away from disempowerment and self-blame, towards understanding.
Anxiety, depression and burnout as signals
Anxiety, depression, and burnout are often described as problems to be eliminated as quickly as possible. In my work, I understand them more often as signals - responses that have developed for a reason.
Anxiety may reflect a nervous system that has learned to stay alert, responsible, or prepared for threat. Low mood can follow long periods of emotional suppression, loss, or disconnection. Burnout often develops after sustained over-giving, pressure, or living in ways that no longer reflect your needs or values.
Many people continue to push through these experiences, believing they should be coping better or fearing what might happen if they stop. Over time, this can deepen exhaustion, self-criticism, and a sense of disconnection from self. Understanding these responses as meaningful, rather than personal failings, creates space for change.
Patterns, coping, and conditions of worth
Often, the ways we struggle in the present are linked to patterns that once helped us cope. Many people grow up learning - implicitly or explicitly, that certain ways of being are more acceptable, valued, or safe than others. Over time, this can lead to patterns such as people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional masking, or consistently putting others’ needs before your own.
These patterns are not flaws. They are adaptations - ways of managing anxiety, maintaining connection, or avoiding rejection. The difficulty arises when these ways of coping continue long after they’re needed, limiting authenticity, straining relationships, or contributing to burnout and emotional distress. It can feel frightening to question these patterns or imagine doing things differently, especially when anxiety arises at the thought of change. Therapy offers a space to explore these experiences with curiosity and compassion, rather than judgement.
You are not broken - and you are not alone
There is nothing wrong with you for struggling in this way. Anxiety, low mood, burnout, and emotional distress are common human experiences, particularly in a world that often values productivity, performance, and self-sacrifice over rest, connection, and authenticity. Many people carry similar struggles quietly, believing they should be managing better or feeling ashamed of needing support. In reality, these responses make sense in the context of life experiences and learned ways of coping.
Understanding this can reduce self-blame and open the possibility of responding to yourself with greater compassion. Compassion is not about excusing behaviour or avoiding responsibility. It is often the most challenging stance to take. It involves turning towards difficulty rather than away from it - staying curious about what is happening within you, and taking responsibility for understanding your needs rather than criticising yourself for having them.
Many people are highly practiced in self-judgement, believing it keeps them accountable or motivated. In reality, harsh inner criticism often maintains anxiety, shame, and stuck patterns. Approaching your experience with curiosity and non-judgement can be a courageous act, allowing you to see more clearly what is driving your distress and what might need to change.
From understanding to agency and choice
Making sense of how you feel does not mean staying stuck in the past. Understanding often brings choice. When patterns are seen clearly and compassionately, it becomes possible to respond differently - to listen to your needs, set boundaries, and move towards ways of living that feel more authentic and sustainable.
This is not about quick fixes or forcing change. It is about building awareness, restoring agency, and supporting meaningful shifts at your own pace. If this way of understanding anxiety, burnout, or emotional distress resonates with you, therapy can offer a supportive space to explore this further.
Links: How I Work / Work With Me
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure why things feel the way they do, you’re not alone. Taking time to make sense of your experience can be an important step towards living in a way that feels more aligned and true to yourself.
